My 8th Grade Journals

You Have Died Of Dysentery

2010-05-18T10:17:00.000-07:00

Summer 1996
The Oregon Trail: The Quest To Reach Williamette Valley... Will They Make It?
By, Erin Seals

"Jed, I do not think we should do this, I like Independence, Missouri just fine. No need to go all the way up to Williamette Valley just because some folks say there is some promised land that may not even be so great!" Mama said over dinner one night.

Papa wanted to go up the Oregon trail. Mama was against it entirely. Lots of people had been killed by cholera, or diseases that could not be cured. Papa said that we were a strong family and we could make it.

My older brother, Miles, was for it. My older sister, Beth, was for it also. Me, Sunny, I was for it. I love adventures. The most adventure we get here are when the rodeos come to town. Finally, Mama got out voted, and the next week we'd be on our way.
***

I do not remember much about the next week, we were so busy that it all went by in a blur. I do remember when we went to Matt's General Store for supplies. Papa got 10 oxen, 25 sets of clothing, 66 bullet boxes, 3 spare wagon wheels, 3 spare wagon axles, 3 spare wagon tongues, 2,000 pounds of food, and had $128.00 left.

We started off on April first. I was ready. Everything went peachy keen for three days. Just as we were beginning to feel safe, on the fourth day Miles got bitten by a snake.

He was walking along side the wagon day dreaming about what our new home would be like. He did not see the Copperhead behind him until too late. He was howling like a banshee and there was nothing we could do about it, because we did not think to bring any medicine so at the next stop, we'd have to borrow some.

Those three days Miles had to wait, I thought he'd die. When we finally got to Kansas River, Papa got some medicine from a family called the Jenkins.

We rested for five days, until Miles was fully well again. Then we went across the river. We should have taken a ferry, Mama thought, but Papa said it probably was not worth the $5.00.

So Papa caulked the wagon so it would float. At first, riding on it was scary, but in the end, it was fine. Nothing fell in the water or anything. Despite Mama's worries, everything turned out okay.

All Grown Up

2010-03-25T07:49:00.001-07:00

I've started a blog with some of my more adult (or shall we say recent, anyway) musings. Please feel free to check it out at: http://bibliomania-whatfreshhellisthis.blogspot.com/

Thanks for reading!

Monica Lewinsky Should Wear A Burka

2010-03-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

August 20, 1998

Dear Journal-

Today was a monumental day. I went on Bud's boat (Krys's church) with a bunch of people. It was SO fun. Adam was SO sweet. I got his number. Also, Mark and I have been on REALLY shaky terms lately. I've called him once in a week- talked for about three minutes. I figured out what to do. Talk to him.

Plus, Clinton planned to attack Afghanistan. Hmmm.... No one heard about that one. I wonder if it'll start anything. It seems like he's doing this to get the heat off of him and Monica Lewinsky. Well, Bye!

Love,
Erin :)

Flesh's Desire

2010-03-22T10:47:00.000-07:00

August 16, 1998

Dear Journal-

I am not going to live in my flesh's desire for it is not pleasing to God, but rather be contented in other things. What are my treasures (values)?

-self respect
-respect for others
-respect for other Christians
-kind words
-being yourself

those are the things we need to store in heavan, the treasures.

Love,
Erin :)

Dear God

2010-01-13T22:05:00.001-08:00

9-28-97

Dear God,

Mark broke up with my today. We had been going out for two months, thirteen days. I’m trying to be good, God. I haven’t cursed. I haven’t told him I hate him. Dear God, please let me get over him. Please help me to be happy, Dear God. It just hurts so bad, to think that he is choosing some other girl over me. We called him, Dear God, Krys and I did, and we laughed and joked around. Mark didn’t participate very much. He joked a little bit. Was it a sin to call him? God, please don’t let me be spiteful. It’s just, Mark was such a sweetheart. He cursed them that cursed me, he always wanted me to be happy. Holy Jesus, I said some things I didn’t mean tonight. Please, dear Lord, please forgive me, and let those I may have hurt forgive me as well. Please don’t let Drew tell Mark I said any of those things. I’m sorry, Holy God, I’m putting the magnifying glass on this incident. Many more will happen like this. I shall put my burden of Mark on the cross and leave it there. I’m so sorry I forgot to go to Youth Group. Please help me leave my pain on the cross. Please help me get through. I love you, Dear God. Goodnight, Sweet Jesus.

Love,

Erin

Christian Teen Night At The Y

2009-12-20T10:27:00.000-08:00

3-6-98

I first met Chaise at Teen Christian Night at the Y. Teen Christian Night is a night when several of the communities youth group gets together at the YMCA and partie til about 3 AM. It's usually pretty fun, but tonight was boring. That is, until Jan showed up. Jan is my best friend. Like me, she's very loud & friendly.

"Hey, Daria, I have someone I want you to meet. Chaise, Daria. Daria, Chaise." I looked at Chaise. He was really cute, with dark brown hair & black eyes.

"Hey." Chaise said.
"Hi." I replied softly.

"Hey- Nick! Over here!" Jan saw her boyfriend, ran up to him, & gave him a hug. I took the opportunity to check Chaise out. 'He is SO hot.' I thought. 'He is tall, & has a GREAT body!' He wasn't fat or skinny, with the right amount of muscle. He caught me looking at him and smiled. I blushed. All of the sudden slow music started playing. Jan & Nick went to the dance floor. So did some of my other friends, Kerri, Tom, Tatum, Kyle & Becka & Julian. Suddenly, Chaise and I were alone.

"Look like everyone's dancing." Chaise said. I smiled at the obviousness of the comment.

"Yep."

"Do you want to dance?" I didn't have to time to think about how weird it was that CHAISE wanted to dance with me.

"Alright." He took my hand & we went to the dance floor. He put his arms around my waist & I put my arm around his neck. We swayed back & forth, talking about school, home, etc. He pulled me closer suddenly.
.
"I asked Jan to introduce us." He said softly.

Lousy, good-for-nothing _ _ _ _ _!

2009-12-06T10:02:00.000-08:00

6-7-96

School's out. I am SOOOO glad!! I don't think I could stand one more second with Mrs. Schowalter. She is a real _ _ _ _ _! I worked so freaking hard on my Latin America project! You would not believe how hard I worked. She takes 1 glance on the first page, DOESN'T EVEN READ IT and says "definitely a 3.5 out of 4". CAN YOU BELIEVE THE CRAZED NUT?! We worked our little butts off on this project, and she doesn't even take 5 minutes out to check our masterpieces! She is a freak! A lousy, good-for-nothing _ _ _ _ _! I HATE HER! I'M GLAD IN 24 HOURS I'LL BE 1,000 MILES AWAY FROM THAT JERK!

P.S. I'm going to Florida 2-morrow.

I Hope Mom Gets Well For My Sake

2009-12-06T09:55:00.000-08:00

3/10/1996

I hope mom gets well for my sake! Lauren tells dad she's going to sleep in my room. I told Lauren that I said fine, if she could sleep while I was in mom's room. Mom let out a loud, exagerated sigh, and was like, "Well everything would've been fine if Erin hadn't blabbed it out!" She said that. My own Mother! So I came down to the den, refused to be in mom's room, which is good because she refused to be have me. And then Dad comes down and says sorry and expects me to forgive.

In Psalms 11 22-25, it says God doesn't do prayers if you hold a grudge. This is hard to write, but I guess I FORGIVE THEM. Oh, I try to be pure of heart. I try as much as I can.

Right now I can practically see Devon Sawa, but soon, who knows?

2009-12-02T10:34:00.000-08:00

12-27-1995

You know, I am so confused! I am popular with a group at school, but the other group whispers about me and spreads rumors. Dad says I'm stronger than I think, but I am a weakling. I like Devon Sawa so much. He looks like a sweetheart. And boy, what a hunk! He has my heart pounding. I love "Little Giants". Devon Sawa is is in it! I am going to buy it. I feel better. Bye!

12-29-1995

You know I don't know how Anna can stand Cindy! I mean, she says Anna can play with me, and then at the last minute she says, "oh! Well Anna, it's too late. Let's drop Erin off!" I was really looking forward to talking and playing with Anna! This really stinks! I hate it, Cindy is always taking away fun from Anna and me. She doesn't even have a reason! You know, if Cindy doesn't let Anna play soon, I'm going to forget how you use your imagination out of lack of excersizing. None of my other friends play imagination games. Right now, I can practically see Devon Sawa, but soon, who knows?

Are you stalking me??

2009-11-29T19:54:00.001-08:00

My 8th Grade Journals has a Twitter account now. My palms are sweating.

http://twitter.com/8thgradejournal

Boarding School & The Punishment

2009-11-29T14:46:00.000-08:00

January 24, 1996

I feel soooooooooooooooooooooooo horrible. Today, I invited Stacey over on the bus. No one was home. We came in, ate (a lot), and then we played on the computer. Then we went downstairs and we played a game. I was trying to fix a lampshade (tilt it) and it broke. Dad can't fix it. MAYBE IF THEY SEND ME TO BOARDING SCHOOL I WON'T DO ANY MORE DAMAGE. MAYBE I WOULD. HOW? I WISH THEY'D GIVE ME THE PUNISHMENT. I DESERVE IT. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THIS WHOLE NIGHTMARE IS OVER. I AM EXTREMELY MISERABLE. HURRY UP, D&M! I DISERVE THE MOST HORRIBLE PUNISHMENT THEY GIVE. I HAVE BEEN BAD. I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT I THINK I'VE BETRAYED MY PARENT'S TRUST.

January 25, 1996

Gosh! Mom and Dad chose extra chores and 4 days off the computor. I AM GOING TO DIE.

Ecstasy

2009-11-22T15:05:00.001-08:00

August 20th, 1997

124 Days!

Dear Journal,

I'm keeping track of how long until Annie comes in. I miss Mark a lot. I remember the last day of camp, in Teen Acting, we played sardines & his hiding place was in the closet. I sat next to him, & we found each other's hand (it was pitch black), and we just sat there, him stroking my hand. My right thumb. Ecstasy. Gonna go take a shower. C-ya!

- Love,
Erin

Devon Sawa and Dolphins

2009-11-18T11:38:00.001-08:00

This is an older one. Enjoy.

January 1, 1996

My New Years Resolutions

1. Shut up! (stop talking)
2. Be nicer 2 Lauren
3. Not talk back
4. Be tougher

Last night I had the best dream. Devon Sawa was at my school. Him, me, and two other girls were playing the Babysitter's Club Game. He put his hands on my hips. It felt good.

Next he was at my house. Dad got a call from Aunt Jeannie from work. She said there were burgalars at her house, which was at the other side of the neighborhood in my dream. Running, we got there. Again, Devon Sawa put his hads on my hops and then put his chin on my shoulder. Dad knocked on the door. A woman answered. She let us in.

Jeannie's house turned into a bowling alley. Lots of people were there. Devon was always at my side, holding my hand or something. The crooks were 3 ladys & a man. We tried a bunch of ways to outsmart him, but it didn't work. Finally, we found a wheelbarrow of mud. We through it in their face. Devon and I were heroes.

But Devon wasn't happy. Actually, he was scared, because he had broken some tools. He thought his dad would be angry with him. He went into the basement. So did I. I kept pestering him until finally I gave up. I started to leave, but he stepped on my dress and stopped me. He got up the courage to tell his dad. But only with me. His dad didn't care. Devon Sawa liked me. It was so wonderful. Probably the best dream ever!

But in real life, I just wish I had someone to talk to. I would also like to be Lauren for a day. WHY???

I think my only reason of self esteem is my dream. I WILL live to work with dolphins. I swear it. I will. It's practically my only reason for living.

This boy at school thinks I'm a lesbian. He started to tell other people!! Mom gave me a note to help with stress. I think it works! I haven't given up my passion. No matter how much they tease me about saving the whales, I won't stop loving dolphins. I WON'T!

Princess Diana is Dead

2009-11-16T23:34:00.000-08:00

August 30, 1998

Dear Journal,

It is 11:21. Princess Diana is dead. I never knew much about Princess Di, but I feel a deep sadness, a turmoil in my heart. Maybe because her children are 15 and (my own age) 13, and how would I be able to live without Mom? I don't want to find out. She was younger than Mom! I am crying. I'm so sad. I am going to find out more about Princess Di. She died in a Mercedes Benz accident. The Mercedes Benz was black. She was with a friend (a man, killed; and a bodygaurd, I'm not sure). It was a Mercedes Benz 600 series sedan. She was 36, and Mom turned 37 9 days ago. I'm so sad. It's a deep feeling in chest. Oh God, please help the world in our time of mourning. Oh God, please help her children! Please help her children be strong and please comfort them. Help us God, we love you.

-Erin

P.S. Please help her kids, her children.

Devon Sawa

2009-11-16T23:19:00.000-08:00

August 17th, 1997

127 til Annie

Dear Journal,

Where has the summer gone? I feel a great impatience burning in my chest. Am I ready for school, I think so, but that's not all. I wish we could go 4 days, then have 3 off, it make it so much more bearable. I miss Mark. I wish he'd get home soon. I'm confused. I hear my mom say I'm too young to have a "boyfriend" (as she puts it). And then, Megan's mom, who I really respect, was sort of surprised I was inviting guys to my party. I can see where they are right, I have my whole life, or most of it, anyhow, to like guys. I should enjoy being a kid while it lasts. But, I can't help like Mark. I like liking him, except for how much it stresses my parents & how adults in general don't like it. But can't there be a happy medium: having the life & school responsibilities of a kid & having the fun of guys? I miss Mark so much. I'm beginning to remember lines like: "Aww, you're not hyper. You're funny when you're hyper" and "Are you alone in the house" and "Ssssure..." and "I'm confused." *laugh* Annie's coming in for Christmas in 127 days. I'm going to start putting the days on the top of each entry. I got another letter from her yesterday. She sent a picture of Devon Sawa *sigh* He's almost as cute as Mark. A newspaper clipping about Randy Johnson, Alex Rodriguez, and the Mariners.

Well, I'm gonna go write Annie! C-Ya!
<3 Erin

Yesterday, I took a shower and changed my attitude (Part 2)

2009-11-16T22:37:00.000-08:00

The Cardinals lost, but I had fun, anyway. Delino DeShields (the guy I named my fish after) hit his 8th home fun of the season, scoring 2 runs. The only 2 runs. We lost. I had 2 Cokes, ice cream, and a hot dog. The ice cream had wooden spoons (which I hate!), so I ate it with a straw. Emily thinks I'm insane. I was so hyper tonight. It was tons of fun! Note to self: call library about tape. Do extra work for money. Right now, I have $30 minus $6 for Seattle funds, $24. I need to know how much I'll have to pay for the missing tape. I'll go look for that right now. Just a sec. No luck. Tomorrow I"ll try other places. Tomorrow I have to work for cash, too! This will be my official bank book/journal. Tomorrow: miss Mark :(. Call Nick. Order cookie for party (I bought Coca-Cola candles, in honor of where I keep my $ for Seattle, that's why this journal has a Coke picture on the front. The Coke bottle stands for the cash, the "Always" stands for "Always keep the dream". Also, go to the library (ahhh!). Ice skating lesson.

I won't admit it, but I'm scared to go. Monday I fell twice. I was doing a waltz jump, which isn't scary, and a spiral, which really scares me. I dread it. I dread my lesson all because of the spiral. The rest of the lesson is fine. Fun, maybe. But the spiral is scary. I know it's unprofessional to be afraid, and that Scott Hamilton and Ekaterina Gordeeva fall a lot and keep their chin up, and are brave, but I simply can't help it. I miss Annie. I pretend we're together sometimes. I write her a lot. With both Annie and Mark gone, I'll be lonely. Annie's the reason Mark and I are going out. I wrote him a note that said: Mark, what's up? I was wondering if you'd want to do something sometime. If so, here is my number. - Erin Seals. Annie made me give it to him. Actually, she gave it to him.

Mark is really funny, likes baseball, plays the bass, the piano (against his will, during the school year), was born September 24th, is twelve, a year younger that I am, is going into 7th grade, and lives in Clayton. He also has a poodle named Shadow and three brothers. I'm his first girlfriend like he's my first boyfriend. Our first date, July 28th, to Brentwood ice skating rink, with Drew and Kristina, at the end, he kissed me on the cheek! My first kiss! Ahh! I asked him out on July 15th, a month ago tomorrow. My best friends, in relative order: Annie, Anna, Rachel, Emily.

My room is decorated with an Orca border, a bunk bed with a futon bottom on one wall, with a book shelf and a bright pink bean bag. On another wall, a dresser, a night stand on one side, with a long picture of my mom at like, 5. Then two containers of my junk. The dresser is made of light wood. There is a large mirror on it, with a picture of Annie on it, a picture of Annie & Stacey, a picture of my San Antonio 5-year-old twins, a picture of 3 year old me in the bath tub, a picture of little me playing the piano, a 2nd place medal from my latest ice skating competition, a sticker Mark gave me, and a coupon for a free soda. On my wall is a picture of Alex Rodriguez, a cute shortstop for Seattle Mariners. On another wall is my bulliton board, with memorabilia collected for months. Another wall holds a calander, an asset for my rememberance, and a corner desk, with a framed picture of Mark and a small, old IBM computer. A window faces the street, Heatherbrook (100). We have a split level. I've lived here my whole life. I watched "East of Eden" last night. It was great. Totally awesome. James Dean was great. Not a happy or particularly admirable person, but a good actor. I want to rent "Rebel Without a Cause" and "Giant". I'm reading James Dean's 300 page biography. I'm almost done. He's dead. He died September 30th, 1955 in a head on collision in his Sypder. Morbid.

I hope I get the Matchbox 20 CD for my birthday. Or OMC's CD. I like MB20's "Push" and OMC's "How Bizarre". I also want No Doubt's CD "Tragic Kingdom". I'm borrowing that from Anna.

It's 12:30. I'd better go to sleep. I'm not tired, but I'll think about Seattle and Annie. Goodnight.
- Erin Seals <3 ya

Yesterday I took a shower and changed my attitude. (pt 1)

2009-11-16T12:17:00.000-08:00

Dear Journal,

Yesterday, I took a shower, changed my attitude, and felt a lot better about the day. Today, I got an e-mail from my boyfriend, Mark. It said he was really sorry about yesterday. That made me feel good. Mark's very sweet. He teases me, but he's just playful, he teases everyone, but he only says "I'm only kidding" to me, and he says it in the cutest voice! He called me at, like, 5:30, and Emily invited me to the baseball game just then so I could only talk until 5:45, and that's not very long, since he's leaving for Florida tomorrow for a week. He doesn't want to go, since my birthday party's on Sunday. Actually, I wasn't supposed to invite him, but I didn't know, so I did, and my mom said only to reinvite him if he brought it up, but since he was leaving anyway, I brought it up. He's said to miss it. But he would have missed it anyway, only not consciously... Nick found out he could come to my party today. Only I wasn't home, so I'm supposed to call him. I can't wait. I don't have a crush on him, but he's funny and fun to be around. I wonder what he's been up to this summer?

Today, I went shopping, and I realized something. I don't like my narrow Arizona jeans as much as wide legged jeans. It's a huge change. Wide legged is much more comfortable. Right now, I'm wearing black corduroy wide legged pants (they aren't bell bottoms) and this awesome brown and black shirt from JC Pennies. I also bought a new dress (now I have two!) a new corduroy forest green jacket, party supplies, and a push-pop (raspberry lemonade....mmm).

The Beginning

2009-11-16T11:41:00.000-08:00

My Journal
Don't Read
I need SOMETHING that's JUST mine.

August 12, 1997

Dear Journal,

I've started many a journal, but I'm going to finish this one! My boyfriend, Mark, is cool. We're going to go roller skating with some friends. My best friend, Annie, lives in Seattle Washington. I miss her a lot. I cry sometimes about her. But she will be in town for Christmas and my 14th birthday (Dec. 26th), so I will see her in about 4 months, 10 days. So long! But we are working towards a common goal. We are both saving up for a round trip to Seattle in February, so I can be there for her birthday. My parents don't take me seriously, so I won't mention it again until I have a lot of cash. I mean, if Annie & I want to pay the money, why would they complain?
I went to the baseball game today. Mark McGwire hit his 2nd home run for the Cardinals. He had 3 Cardinal RBI's, all from HR's. He has about 5 hits in about 38 at bats. Why are we paying him $1,000,000 a month? That's a fortune! With that, I could go to Seattle thousands of times! Seattle. Annie. The blue flower necklace I wear is for her. She has a yellow one just like it. They're BF necklaces. I love Annie. She's the best friend anyone could ever have. So why does she have to live so far away? I just don't understand. I guess absense makes the heart grow fonder, but so much absense? Why Seattle? Why? Well, I'd better go to bed. C-Ya.

- Erin